I love that we live an era where women are educated, independent, and can wait to marry until they find a man they love rather than needing to find a husband to support them. Despite how important it is for a women to be be choosy when deciding who to date, there is a point when a woman can be “too picky.” If you find yourself with a ten page check list, then it’s likely you have switched from searching for the “perfect man for you” to searching for absolute perfection.
For our commenters on LuvemOrLeavem , the difference between high standards and too picky is usually determined by how specific the woman’s requirements are for choosing a man. For example, looking for a man who is fit is fine. If she spends her spare time hiking and kayaking, then she’ll be looking for a man who is in better shape than a woman who is happy taking a stroll around the block. I wouldn’t consider that “too picky” because it is important to have common interests in a relationship. Of course if your idea of a guy who is fit is defined by his Body Mass Index falling within a narrow range, then yes, I would say you are too picky.
With that said, here is a list of criteria that women have shared with us that have caused their friends, and in some cases even their moms, to say that these women are “too picky” to ever find a man.
“I want a man who is at least 6 inches taller than me (I’m 5′ 8″). That way I can wear a nice pair of heels and he’s still taller.”
“He has to make at least 300K per year. That may sound picky if you live in Iowa, but here in Manhattan that’s pretty much middle class.”
“I broke up with a guy that my best friend thought was perfect for me because he had nasty back hair. I wanted to gag every time we went to the beach, and hey, I love the beach.”
“I want a guy who’s strong enough to carry me over the thresh hold one day. If he’s a scrawny guy, that’s a deal breaker.”
“I broke up with a guy who wanted to go out with just the guys every week. He can see his friends once a month, but once a week is too much.”
“He dressed like a bum. I bought him nice clothes for every special occasion, and he still lived in his ratty old jeans and t-shirts. Bye bye.”
“I don’t have a 10 page list of requirements, but it’s probably close to 8. I may even have 3 pages devoted just to appearance. All the other pages describe the characteristic that my future husband must have.”
“He has to like the same music as me, no jazz, no heavy metal, no country, no rap and no hip hop (no exceptions).”
Now some of these seem like kind of silly things to be deal breakers in a relationship, but maybe these ladies are very laid back about a host of other criteria. If you’ve met men that meet your criteria and the relationship just didn’t work out for whatever reason, then it is likely that you just have high standards. If you have never even met anyone that comes close to your list of “must haves,” then you may indeed be too picky.
So what do you think? Are these ladies too picky? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.
