With all the posts I’ve done about cheating this year, I couldn’t let the Tiger Woods scandal go by without commenting. I’m actually focusing on the general nature of celebrity relationships as well as Tiger’s situation, because I think that his marriage is typical of so many of the celebrity relationships that hit a downward spiral as the world watches.
The volatile nature of celebrity marriages is clearly illustrated when we look at their divorce rate. Divorce rates the U.S. are running at about fifty percent for the general population, but when we look at celebrities, most of us would be hard pressed to name more than a few who have never faced divorce. So, whether it is cheating or just a revolving door of marriages and divorces, what is it about celebrities that makes their marriages so difficult?
On the one hand, celebrities do have concerns about privacy and fending off paparazzi that the rest of us don’t have to consider. On the other hand, celebrities don’t have many of the everyday worries that the rest of us have. They’re don’t have to worry about paying the bills or whether that old car will break down. When it comes to those household chores that many couples argue about, celebrities also have a pass. There’s no need to divvy up who will handle the cooking, cleaning, errands and yard work when this can all be hired out.
So, if their lives are not really harder, then why are their relationships so disastrous? I think that the high number of failed celebrity marriages stems from the types of personalities that are attracted to stardom and the choices that are made to maintain this stardom. Many of the personality and lifestyle traits that make a celebrity successful in their profession are the same traits that are not well suited to a successful marriage.
Big Egos and Marriage Don’t Mix Well- Most celebrities have big egos, as do many other high profile professions like politicians and even surgeons. A big ego is not only a useful characteristic when your work is under the constant scrutiny of critics, but it’s often necessary to survive in these fields. Celebrities often see their careers plummet when they reach a point where they no longer believe that they’re “better” than the rest of the people in their field. The problem is, that ego is not so useful when you are trying to make a marriage work. As much as you need to bring self confidence to a marriage, you also need to frequently “check your ego at the door” when you are dealing with your spouse.
Surrounded by Enablers- A well positioned “friend” of a celebrity often benefits more when the celebrity achieves success in their career rather than in their personal life. As a result, they’re often surrounded by enablers who don’t really care what happens to the celebrity as long as they are making money. We see it all the time where “friends” help celebrities acquire things that will ruin their personal lives. Some help celebrities arrange secret rendezvous with mistresses and some introduce them to shady doctors who will write unlimited prescriptions. Either way, if the people that surround you encourage your vices rather than telling you that what you are doing is wrong, you may actually start to lose touch with the reality of just how bad your actions are.
A Life of Excess- Celebrities have an excess of material things in their lives. If they want yachts, multiple houses, multiple cars or even multiple mistresses, they can afford all of these things and more. Of course we don’t know if these celebrities start turning to infidelity because they’re still seeking something that all these material things can’t provide, or whether they just like the thrill of getting everything that they want, including people. Whichever reason prevails, it is safe to say that this life of excess does not bring happiness.
In the end, I think that we are often drawn to watching these celebrity relationships explode because it makes us feel better about our own lives and relationships. The relationships of celebrities often make even the typical person’s dysfunctional relationship look relatively tame and normal. I think that many people also find comfort in seeing that underneath the glamor that surrounds the lives of celebrities, they have the same basic struggles to find love and happiness that we all have.
So what do you think about why celebrities have such a difficult time with relationships? Does their fame make their relationships harder to maintain or do they just make terrible choices? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
