Despite the title, this post is not really going to contain a test for husbands, just some lighthearted thoughts and stories about how marriage varies so much from couple to couple.  Years ago a coworker of mine had to meet with a person from immigration because she married a man from France and the people from immigration wanted to verify that they really did live together and that it wasn’t a sham marriage designed to keep him in the U.S.  Being single at the time, I listened to her story about this “husband test” with no appreciation of just how well her husband did.  He accurately identified her family members in their wedding album and he was even asked to show the immigration worker where they kept their flour and sugar (which being a chef he was promptly able to produce).

During various times in my marriage I have often thought about her story, because I am the official person “who knows where things are” in my house and I don’t know if my husband would be able to find the sugar and flour without a little guidance from me or maybe a cheat sheet.  I’m confident that he’d head to the pantry, but beyond that I’m not sure that he would be able to locate any of the items required for baking.  Of course in all fairness, if I had to prove that I lived here by finding anything in the garage, I would likely not pass the test either.  Just for fun, I shared this little husband test story with some women on FaceBook and Twitter and asked them what questions they thought their husbands would be least likely to answer correctly as well as which things they themselves would get wrong.  Here are some of their replies:

My Husband Could Not Prove He Lived Here If He Had To:

• Identify spices.  I learned the hard way to double check that he handed me the cinnamon before I add it to my pastry dough.
• Fold the stroller.  He’s learned how to stuff it in the trunk without folding it, even though there’s a lever that folds it right up.  (Actually, I had to pull out the instruction manual before I found it)
• That wedding guest identification would bury him, although it has been 10 years since those photos were taken.
• Run the washing machine.
• Find his keys by himself.
• Know all our birthdays.  It’s the years that throw him, that’s why I fill out all the forms.
• Tell anyone where the dry cleaner is located.
• Find the hair dryer.  He’s used it once.
• Know where we keep the vacuum cleaner.
• Get my middle name right.

I Wouldn’t Be Able to Prove I Was His Wife if I Had to:

• Know anything about the car.  I didn’t know if it was rear wheel drive or front wheel when it broke down and the tow truck driver asked if it was really my car.
• Find the iron.  He irons his own shirts and I like it that way, I don’t want to know where that iron is.
• Find the Christmas lights.  Garage, shed, basement?  They could be anywhere.
• Unclog the sink.
• Use power tools.
• Name the guys in his poker group.  They all look similar and it’s always smoky in the man cave/poker room.

So there you have it, our husband and wife lists of the many things that might cause them to fail a husband or wife test.  I feel pretty confident in saying that unless you live by yourself, it is likely that you don’t know where to find or how to use everything in your home.  I can’t help but think that the immigration worker was most likely not married, because I think that her questions showed no understanding of the separation of tasks that exists in most marriages.  I feel bad for any husbands that were interviewed by that immigration worker after my friend’s husband breezed through his interview, and I hope that they didn’t get deported for not being able to identify all their wives aunts and uncles in the wedding album.

What do you think? What question would be most likely to stump you if you had to prove you lived in your house?  What question would be likely to stump your spouse?  Please share your thoughts in the comment section.