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Dorothy from grammology
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Dorothy Stahlnecker´s last blog ..John Edwards is such a disappointment

On another note I am really sorry to see you are leaving Entrecard, but thanks for the EC’s and I have also added you to my blogroll so I don’t lose track of you.
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My defense of “The Rules” stems from believing in the underlying principle of the book. To say my argument was based on the fact that The Rules worked for my friends really over-simplifies the whole point.

My argument was two fold. One, why not look at the basic principle of The Rules – have a life, know what you want, set appropriate boundaries, value yourself and don’t make a man the center of your world – and try to apply them to your life. Why do so many women try to vilify this book but were over the moon with He’s Just Not That Into You? They’re basically saying the same thing: Stop chasing men who don’t want you. Show some self-respect. Get a life. And above all..STOP LYING TO YOURSELF. It’s ok to want to get married. It doesn’t make you weak or pathetic.

I feel like the people who trash this book focus heavily on the idea that there are “rules” to follow. But these tips are the same ones we’d receive from our friends and give back to them. A guy calls you last minute for a date? You say no. A guy tells you he’ll call you on Tuesday night and doesn’t get around to it until Thursday? You’re not available. And if he really likes you, you can be sure he’s going to step up his game. To me, that’s a lot smarter than having some sit down with him and scolding him about following through on his promises. Now, if it’s a chronic problem then of course you speak up. But then, if it’s a chronic problem.,..why are you with him in the first place?

think the problem so many women have is with the title and the idea of there being “rules” to “getting” a man and not the themes or advice itself.

But keep something else in mind…this book is for women who are marriage minded. If that’s not you, then what’s the problem? Is it that this books conveys some message that all women want is to get married?

I am a firm believer in being yourself, although sometimes it’s hard because we naturally seem to be a slightly more positive person when we first meet someone rather than ourselves from day 1. This may not hold true for all but it certainly is true for many.

So I think the rules work for some but not for all, and I don’t think it would catch all woman’s perfect match.

Colin.
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Following a set of rules to manipulate how things go is ridiculous. If it works it works. If it doesn’t it doesn’t.

The biggest mistake people make is choosing the wrong person. Start there and end there, but don’t follow rules to try and fit a square peg in a round hole. The relationship will fall apart sooner or later.

Guys aren’t that predictable. From my experience, if a guy likes a woman, he doesn’t play games.

For example. I agree that it is better to not see someone more than 3 times a week. I would say this is good for both genders. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and you don’t want to be too available. Plus, everyone needs time for themselves.

But to use that as a tactic to make a man “want” you more?

Ugh. I would rather just be so busy enjoying my life that I don’t notice that its been 3 days since I last saw my fellow.

The most important thing is to not sit around waiting for the phone to ring. So if he is late calling you, well, you’ve already got plans — you don’t have to lie about it!

Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. If you’re a hot commodity, you’re out in the world doing your thing and not waiting around to be some fellow’s bitch.

I just think they are stupid. Why are their rules? Why can’t we just do what feels right in our hearts? that’s what I do. To me it just seems easier to go with your gut then follow some rule book somebody wrote.