Comments on: Romance, Happiness and Children

By: Hilda@ mens sport coats

Hilda@ mens sport coats — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 00:30:47 +0000

Well, Marriage without kids is incomplete. Babies makes you complete.

By: Can Your Relationship Survive His Children? « LuvemOrLeavem Relationships – Love Relationship Advice

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 18:03:56 +0000

[...] Romance Happiness and Children document.getElementById("post-1192-blankimage").onload(); [...]

By: MelleBelle

MelleBelle — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 07:53:58 +0000

My marraige had a strong foundation as we courted for a very long time and for some of it we had a long distance relationship. Having Children hasn’t driven us apart. We work together more. We argue a lot more too, but I cherish the few moments we have alone. These are when he drops me off at the station once we’ve taken kids to school, or when we go out for breakfast on a Thursday morning.
My youngest son looks like my husband and because of this I love my husband even more. I have 3 boys. The other day I had one of those fantasy dreams where I had a romantic relationship a fictional man and the man turned round to me and asked me “why can’t you do this with your husband?”. And do you know I haven’t had that dream again and we have been hugging more and that has worked.
MelleBelle´s last blog ..Time for change

By: Anne

Anne — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:18:42 +0000

I think that having children can put strain on a marriage and that if there were difficulties before the marriage, these can be emphasized by the addition of a child. In that way, I can see saying that a marriage would be less happy than before children. I don’t think it is less happy, it is a different kind of happiness. I believe that having children changes a person’s focus so dramatically that the same things that made them happy before children are not as important. It becomes less about you and more about the children and the family.

By: Anna's Adornments

Anna's Adornments — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 02:37:12 +0000

The author(s) of the article that seems to conclude that a marriage without children is happier or more fun than sfter the children are born, may not have taken into consideration all of the couples and individuals who want to have children, but for different reasons are and remain childless. To not be able to have children when you feel the time is right for you or to hear from the medical profession that you cannot become a natural parent is a devistating experience and for many a sorrow and loss they grieve the rest of their lives.
I think marriage and babies go together. I mean for me the whole point of getting married is because you like each other enough to want to be a family together.
Sure, babies and children take time and energy and even money to pay for bills that you would not have to pay otherwise. But for me it is a natural part of life to want to pass on what you can to a younger generation, as you yourself were given something by your elders. It is looking at yourself as a link in a long line or chain through time. I think love or good deeds or good habits or happy memories or even suffering can be remembered for generations if you either write it down and preserve it somehow or listen and talk to each from different generations while there still is time.
People who think that a marriage without children is more fun than one with children are not looking at a longer time frame.

My marriage is not what I had dreamed that it would be because I chose the wrong man. We are just too different. But our children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. They are not the cause of an unhappy marriage. The underlying reasons for incompatibility were already there from the start. But as other commentors have pointed out, the strain of caring for children
makes it difficult to put up the facade that one perhaps did during the first romantic and childless time of a marriage.
Anna’s Adornments´s last blog ..Top Droppers for November 2009

By: sexy legs and body

sexy legs and body — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:01:32 +0000

Hi Tina, great topic. From experience, kids can throw a marriage upside down, but having a kid is also one of the best thing can happen to you. It takes a mite of work to keep the romance flowing, but it is not impossible. Once you are through the first two months after the baby’s birth, you are used to the new responsibility and life starts getting back to normal again.

So, my opinion is, go for it, it is worth it in the end, for sure. And I never wanted kids, my wife wanted so I agreed. Today I am not sorry, I cannot imagine a house without kids.

Tina, thanks also for entering the giveaway on my last post, best wishes with the draw. Hope you and your family will have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Colin.
sexy legs and body´s last blog ..GIVEAWAY – PERRICONE COUPON: COLD PLASMA.

By: BK

BK — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 02:21:45 +0000

I feel that during the start of the marriage, it is very much of romance with a balance of responsibility toward each other. With the arrival of children, that balance will shift more toward responsibility and thoughtfulness. As the example you cited in your post on the husband getting to the crying baby in the middle of the night. But that doesn’t in anyway imply decrease happiness in relationship. I believe the thing is not about if the couple has children or not, but how they are working to make the relationship works.

By: Jude

Jude — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:11:57 +0000

Having my Son was the happiest moment of my life. I had a bad marriage to start with and there was never any romance so I really can’t speak about that.

Your post was well thought out and in my opinion romance is overrated when it comes to actually living day in and day out with someone and sharing your life with all the ups and downs.

I’ll take knowing that person loves me despite how crappy I look and accepts me the way I am. I appreciate the thoughtful things Bill does for me and for me that’s romance, but younger people have their expectations set so high for a happy ever after.
Jude´s last blog ..I’m Grateful For Growing Older/Alzheimer Fears

By: K

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:47:33 +0000

I think there is nothing sexier than my husband playing with my son. I think watching him over the past three year and seeing what a great father he is makes me love him even more.

I think children can be a great source of happiness, but it’s important to remember your spouse’s needs too. Focusing entirely on your children is probably not going to help your marraige any.
K´s last blog ..RTT-Tasing, Eggos and Surgery

By: Brandy

Brandy — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:39:29 +0000

I think that children have different effects on different relationships, and I agree with your statement here: “Happiness can be enhanced by those who touch our lives, but it cannot be given to us by anyone but ourselves.” it’s so true!

I think those that blame other reasons behind their loss in happiness simply is a way to blame another person or situation for the lack of what they have with their partner. I do agree that romance is HUGE in the beginning of a relationship but it does dwindle down and that’s okay, it’s to be expected. Marriage takes work from two people so if both people in the marriage are going into the relationships with realistic expectations of life then they will make it.

Children or no children a marriage is hard. Make sure you and your partner are ok before you bring a child into the mix as a child doesn’t make things easier at all.
Brandy´s last blog ..Black Friday Specials

By: Maria @ Conversations with Moms

Maria @ Conversations with Moms — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:42:31 +0000

That is just silly. Children are a lot of responsibility and take up a lot of a parent’s time. I think that a lot of parents get caught up in being a parent and forget that they are also a spouse. I’m guilty of that sometimes. My children have drained me of my energy some days and then I have none left for hubby.

But, I would never call it unhappiness. Hubby and I try to save some time to be alone whenever possible. Keeping our marriage strong benefits our children as well.
Maria @ Conversations with Moms´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – 5 Years Later

By: askcherlock

askcherlock — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:36:25 +0000

Having children is certainly an individual choice. If a marriage has a strong foundation, I think children magnify that love. If the marriage is a bit rocky, having children will not “save” the marriage, though I have known some women who got pregnant just to hold onto their man. It doesn’t work.

By: ONE of THE GUYS

ONE of THE GUYS — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 03:10:39 +0000

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who writes that crap??

I agree with you Tina.

What babies do, is they magnify whatever was there to begin with. If there was romance and love, there’s bound to be even more of that. Babies certainly can bring two people even closer together.

And if there was angst and conflict, babies can certainly cause more rifts. Think sleep deprivation 24/7!

We should do some research on the authors of some of these articles. Probably unhappy people!

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving!! Sorry for my ranting!