When choosing a man, there used to be a popular saying that went like this: “never date a man who is prettier than you are.” The implication was that a man who spent too much time worrying about his appearance was either untrustworthy and always on the lookout for a new woman, or he was actually gay. Back then these men were often called pretty boys, but these days they tend to be called metrosexuals, which is sometimes shortened to metro men.
For the most part, I think that the changes are positive in the way society defines men and the role of men. I think it’s great that we view helping with the housework and caring for the kids as natural for a man, versus a time when even men who had many children had never changed a diaper. I have to admit that I do have trouble expanding my view of men when it comes to the metrosexual type of man who heads to the salon to get manicures or highlights in his hair. Some women like that these men put so much time into their appearance, while others are uncomfortable with the idea of men who devote so much time to their appearance. What is it that makes women like me uncomfortable with this new breed of men? I have made a list of the things that I find most troublesome about men who spend so much time grooming.
Bathroom Space- It used to be that men’s grooming products consisted of soap, shaving cream and a razor. These days there are entire lines of men’s hair care and skin care that involve multiple products and multiple steps to use them properly. Aside from the large amount of space that these additional products require, there is the extra space that the man will be taking up while he is using all of these products instead of being out from in front of the mirror after the few minutes that it takes to shave.
Time to Get Ready- Most men I know can be ready for a formal occasion within 10 minutes even if they have just finished a workout. Shower, shave, get dressed and they’re ready to go. I admit that I can easily take an hour to get ready for a big occasion. The hair and makeup take awhile, and then I usually need to try on at least three outfits with a variety of accessories before I’m ready. I can’t imagine that we would ever get out of the house if my husband also needed an hour to get ready. Plus, big part of why I am ready within an hour is that my husband has been ready and waiting for 50 minutes out of that hour and has started repeatedly asking “Are you ready yet?” which does speed me up even if I won’t admit this to him.
Expense- Extensive grooming costs way more than basic grooming. All those extra grooming products cost money and so do all the extra grooming services. A haircut at the barbershop is a bargain compared to a trip to the salon complete with wash, cut, color and styling. I know it sounds sexist to say that these expenses are unnecessary for a man, but I can’t help it, that’s just the way I see it.
Clothes- If you compare a man’s suit from the 1950’s to a modern suit they look pretty much identical. Yes, along the way there have been trends. There were leisure suits, skinny ties and those corduroy sport coats with the patches at the elbow, but for men who didn’t want to be bothered with trends they could keep the same suit until it wore out.
The same goes with the casual standby, the jeans and tee shirt. Yes, there are jeans that come in a variety of cuts and rises, but if you stick with basics, a man can wear a tee shirt and pair of jeans until they wear out (or at least until his wife turns them into cleaning rags.) The Guys over at The Guys Perspective just wrote a post about men and clothes, and I have to admit that I can relate to the idea of a man who wants to wear his ratty old shirt much more than men who want to wear what was featured at Fashion Week.
Self-Centered- Everyone has a certain amount of vanity about their appearance, but if someone shows too much vanity, we view them as self centered. Most of us are much quicker to label a man as being self centered because of the attention that he gives to his appearance than we would be for a woman. I’ve heard women comment that a guy must be a jerk because he has perfectly blow dried hair and seems to check his appearance in every mirror that he passes. We probably wouldn’t be so quick to label a woman the same way. I admit I’m guilty of this attitude too. I don’t expect a guy to check his appearance when he passes a mirror unless he’s just eaten something that may have gotten stuck between his front teeth.
Crossing the Feminine Line- For many women there’s just something that seems “too feminine” about these metrosexual men. Many of the things that they do, like getting manicures or expensive haircuts are behaviors that have been the exclusive territory of women for a long time. It obviously doesn’t mean that a man is gay because he cares for his appearance to this degree, but fair or not, it will make some women question his sexuality.
So yes, the role of men has evolved in many ways but the image of the extremely well groomed metrosexual male seems to be more commom in magazines and television than it is in real life. There are still many women like me, who just cannot understand the appeal of a man who spends too much time on his appearance. Lucky for us, there are also many men who for whatever reason have no desire to devote so much time, energy and money to their appearance.
What do you think? Ladies, do you prefer ultra groomed men or men who don’t bother with all that? Men, just how much time do you put into your appearance? If you do love to be well groomed, do you do it for yourself or to appeal to the ladies? Please share your thoughts in the comments section!
I really don’t care about “metro ” men as long as they’re spiffy clean, with short clean fingernails, no hair on the ears and nose sticking out, not too hairy on the chest, and of course, has a nice clean teeth. My husband is all that except that he didn’t really dress up well except for work. But I introduced him to dressing up well and so far he is doing a good job.
I prefer the in between man. My brother in law is somewhat of a Metro Man. He has more clothes and shoes than my sister and I combined.
I don’t like anyone spending too much time in front of the mirror. Too much of anything can get boring.
I can’t stand the Metro Man! I like that my boyfriend has good hygiene and can put together a decent outfit, but that’s the extent. For the most part he’s all about the old tee shirt and sweats, and I love that. I completely agree with what you said, there is something too feminine about these metro men. If I wanted that, i think I’d just date a girl!
Date Girl´s last blog ..The Monster in Law Moment
I dated a guy who was very metro, I married a handsome guy who is comfortable in his own skin – without facials and moisturizer. Pretty metro guys are for playing —natural guys are for staying.
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For Blogrolls and such.
We’re still in the process of tweaking the look and design of our site, but we’re happy to be operating under our own domain!
Take care and have a great day!
i also like a “natural” man. as long as he is not dirty and stinky, what he wears doesn’t matter to me.
PJ´s last blog ..On Fire
I’ve always been suspicious of the “pretty boy” and have always steered clear. So long as they’re clean and look presentable then I’m happy.
Although the metro man has done wonders for the beauty industry. I’ve permed, colored, styled, manicured, and waxed many over the years and they are great tippers.
Jude´s last blog ..Computer Forensics
I like a man to be natural, especially after they reach middle age. I have always believed that men have a natural advantage. I have yet to meet one who didn’t get better looking as they got older. They look sexy and sophisticated with graying or white hair. Women don’t. Men can gain weight and still be sexy. Women can’t. Men get “character lines.” Women get wrinkles. So if a man tries too hard and gets manicures and fusses too much about his appearance, I have to believe that he just doesn’t get it! Natural works best for a man who is truly attractive.
Twitter: ausetkmt
says:
Metrosexuals are too strange for me. I like a natural clean well groomed man. not one who will be getting waxed and dyed. no thank you, I like my men with a lil gusto.
RE – A BadGalSays´s last blog ..Katt You Hold Up, Wait A Minute; Let ME Put Some Pimpin In-it
well groomed will be the word but not overly done so..like an hour in his bath or preparation. but who doesn’t want handsome men?! unfortunately these days, it really is hard to tell a straight from a bisexual. truly sad!
well…looks like a nice day to go chillaxin in the spa. click and read more =)
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Twitter: symphonyoflove
says:
As for me, I just keep to the bare minimum; I just make sure that I am clean and shave at least and I am good to go. Since I have quite a lot of white hairs, I was often told to have my hair dyed. But that will never appeal to me. I do not like the feel of any chemicals on my hairs or head. The bottom line is, as long as I am clean and shave and dress appropriately for the event.
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Either in moderation don’t want a guy who doesn’t practice good hygiene nor one who needs more time then me in the bathroom.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Dorothy Stahlnecker´s last blog ..Two different kinds of family dinner
I don’t really get the metro thing at all.
I like my men manly. I guess I’m old-fashion like that.
K´s last blog ..RTT- Sappy Days Off
The male role has only evolved in one direction:
More demands and less freedom.
As soon as there’s a hint that men might gain some freedom (such as fashion) they get ostracised with insulting labels.
Its very sad how society treats men and how its killing them in large numbers and nobody seems to even notice let alone care.
My husband does dye his hair, but doesn’t deal with stuff like manicures, etc. I guess I prefer somewhere in between. I don’t want my husband to spend more time and money than me on his look, but a shower occasionally is nice.
I’m sorry, but a man who takes that much time and puts in that much effort makes me feel uncomfortable. As long as he’s clean and smells good, I would much rather see him in jeans and a ratty T-shirt. Well…naked is best.
When the occasion calls for it, he cleans up nicely, yet there is still little fuss and muss involved.
I would say the same for a woman. Too much effort looks just like that, too much effort. Unapproachable is the energy exuded.
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As you know, we’re all for the ratty shirt. Yes, we clean up well, but only for special occasions.
We agree with all of your points, but especially the self-centered one. Other guys we know who spend a ton of time in front of the mirror are usually full of themselves. This is obviously a stereotype, even for us to say, but that’s how we feel too.
my man is the epitome of a “pretty boy” in the sense that he dresses well and always looks put together. he has a ton of clothes…he gets his eyebrows waxed and he dyes his hair cause he hates his natural salt and pepper hair. But I feel I have the best of both worlds. He takes care of himself but hes also a mans man that doesnt mind gettin dirty and really isnt feminine in any other way =)