Comments on: Common Excuses for Cheating http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/ Relationship Help, Love Advice Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:10:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Jill Thornton http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-4080 Jill Thornton Wed, 30 Dec 2009 20:03:54 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-4080 My husband cheated on me and I tried to save our marriage for the three kids but I have never really forgiven and will never ever trust him again. In fact I keep looking back and wishing that I had divorced him when i found out. But hindsight is 20/20. Now I am in a really difficult place at an age where getting a job again will be very difficult and the recession has meant our assets are tied up and unsellable at the present. So I tear myself up all the time because he has become sneaky and makes me think he is once again in touch with this woman. Should I get in touch with her husband and warn him? My husband cheated on me and I tried to save our marriage for the three kids but I have never really forgiven and will never ever trust him again. In fact I keep looking back and wishing that I had divorced him when i found out. But hindsight is 20/20.

Now I am in a really difficult place at an age where getting a job again will be very difficult and the recession has meant our assets are tied up and unsellable at the present.

So I tear myself up all the time because he has become sneaky and makes me think he is once again in touch with this woman.
Should I get in touch with her husband and warn him?

]]> By: Why Do Women Cheat? « LuvemOrLeavem Relationships http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-3681 Why Do Women Cheat? « LuvemOrLeavem Relationships Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:19:36 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-3681 [...] a previous post I examined some common excuses for cheating that men tend to use when defending their actions to the woman in their life.  I promised to do [...] [...] a previous post I examined some common excuses for cheating that men tend to use when defending their actions to the woman in their life.  I promised to do [...]

]]> By: estrella http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-3557 estrella Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:23:34 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-3557 There is absolutley no justification for cheating on your spouse!! men tend to believe that they are ploygamous in nature because of the way the society labels a woman when she cheats and then how it labels a man when he cheats...there are times when it gets dull in mariagge yes...but being committed to spicing things up when they get dull is the key for keeping adulterous thoughts at bay and of course,knowing the word of God..when you have the utmost respect for Gods word,you wont cheat because of the reverence you have for his word...knowing God helps! There is absolutley no justification for cheating on your spouse!! men tend to believe that they are ploygamous in nature because of the way the society labels a woman when she cheats and then how it labels a man when he cheats…there are times when it gets dull in mariagge yes…but being committed to spicing things up when they get dull is the key for keeping adulterous thoughts at bay and of course,knowing the word of God..when you have the utmost respect for Gods word,you wont cheat because of the reverence you have for his word…knowing God helps!

]]> By: tinque http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-3284 tinque Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:36:35 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-3284 There is never a good reason for cheating. If you are unhappy or not getting what you want/need, then finish old business before starting new. Novelty seems the predominant theme in all of the above excuses. I say sex is NEVER boring. Only people are. Creativity is a lovely way underused human facet. I don't know if I entirely agree that selfishness is the underlying reason though it is part of the equation. I would venture laziness. I would also question the depth of a couple's connection. xxoo There is never a good reason for cheating. If you are unhappy or not getting what you want/need, then finish old business before starting new.
Novelty seems the predominant theme in all of the above excuses. I say sex is NEVER boring. Only people are. Creativity is a lovely way underused human facet.
I don’t know if I entirely agree that selfishness is the underlying reason though it is part of the equation. I would venture laziness.
I would also question the depth of a couple’s connection.
xxoo

]]> By: Date Girl http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-3244 Date Girl Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:18:30 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-3244 I think ultimately that people cheat because they aren't happy in their relationships. It means something bigger is broken, and instead of fixing it or breaking it off, they take the easy way out. They cheat. It's wrong, and it's a sorry excuse, but I think that's ultimately why people do it. I don't think relationships can bounce back from cheating, because you have to have trust, it's the foundation for a good relationship. I think ultimately that people cheat because they aren’t happy in their relationships. It means something bigger is broken, and instead of fixing it or breaking it off, they take the easy way out. They cheat.
It’s wrong, and it’s a sorry excuse, but I think that’s ultimately why people do it. I don’t think relationships can bounce back from cheating, because you have to have trust, it’s the foundation for a good relationship.

]]> By: PJ http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-2908 PJ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:02:19 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-2908 you're right, those are excuses. there is never a good excuse to cheat. if you feel that you need to have other relationships then you should not be in a committed one. a person owes it to their partner to be honest. that's my opinion. p.s. be on the lookout for your order. please let me know that it arrived all right. it should be no later than monday. have a great day! .-= PJ´s last blog ..<a href="http://pjtangel.blogspot.com/2009/10/wordless-wednesday-outside-eden.html" rel="nofollow">Wordless Wednesday (Outside Eden)</a> =-. you’re right, those are excuses. there is never a good excuse to cheat. if you feel that you need to have other relationships then you should not be in a committed one. a person owes it to their partner to be honest. that’s my opinion.

p.s. be on the lookout for your order. please let me know that it arrived all right. it should be no later than monday.

have a great day!
PJ´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday (Outside Eden) My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Angela http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-2901 Angela Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:55:25 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-2901 My husband cheated after we had been married for 12 years, unfortunately I did not find out until 3 years later. Of course he had the lamest excuse - it just happened. I'm trying to put it behind me, but it is hard to just forget and move on. My husband cheated after we had been married for 12 years, unfortunately I did not find out until 3 years later. Of course he had the lamest excuse – it just happened. I’m trying to put it behind me, but it is hard to just forget and move on.

]]> By: sexy legs and body http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-2866 sexy legs and body Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:30:41 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-2866 My motto is, do not do to other you do not want done to yourself. I do not want my wife to cheat on me, so I will not cheat on her, and she feels the same. However, one must make sure that the flames in a relationship keeps on burning high. It is up to you to figure that one out as every relationship is different, but it all boils down to give more than you receive, and use some imagination. Great subject! Colin. .-= sexy legs and body´s last blog ..<a href="http://sexylegsandbody.blogspot.com/2009/10/thanks-stephanie.html" rel="nofollow">THANKS STEPHANIE!</a> =-. My motto is, do not do to other you do not want done to yourself. I do not want my wife to cheat on me, so I will not cheat on her, and she feels the same. However, one must make sure that the flames in a relationship keeps on burning high. It is up to you to figure that one out as every relationship is different, but it all boils down to give more than you receive, and use some imagination.
Great subject!
Colin.
sexy legs and body´s last blog ..THANKS STEPHANIE! My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Bring Back Pluto http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-2858 Bring Back Pluto Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:08:12 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-2858 Cheating is wrong. Absolutely. It's not something I would do, and I'd be devastated if it was done to me. BUT..............and you knew this was coming..... A few things. I've witnessed three breakups in the last three years of marriages of friends. All three were because the woman cheated and wanted out. I think men do cheat more, but it's no longer so black and white. The other point. Is there ever a time when cheating is OK? I'll ask you and your readers about a situation I know about. THere's a guy who loves his wife and family very much. He doesn't want to leave and basically won't leave no matter what. However, his wife doesn't ever want to have sex. She won't go to counseling, she doesn't even really want to talk about it. This has been going on for about five years and he still remains patient, hopeful and faithful. Still trying to talk about it and explore it. If he leaves, his kids lives will be a living hell and so will his, so he stays. And frankly he still loves his wife. But just recently I've heard him say he wished he could just have sex with someone, but stay married. And then the next sentence he says he could never cheat. At what point do you think it would be OK to have an affair in this situation? I think most people who cheat are scoundrels and selfish, but it can get complicated when kids are involved, etc. I think the John Irving book "The 158 Pound Marriage" opened my eyes a bit. I'll have to reread to see if that's true. I think that's the title. Interesting post and topic Tina! Cheating is wrong. Absolutely. It’s not something I would do, and I’d be devastated if it was done to me. BUT…………..and you knew this was coming…..

A few things. I’ve witnessed three breakups in the last three years of marriages of friends. All three were because the woman cheated and wanted out. I think men do cheat more, but it’s no longer so black and white.

The other point. Is there ever a time when cheating is OK? I’ll ask you and your readers about a situation I know about. THere’s a guy who loves his wife and family very much. He doesn’t want to leave and basically won’t leave no matter what. However, his wife doesn’t ever want to have sex. She won’t go to counseling, she doesn’t even really want to talk about it. This has been going on for about five years and he still remains patient, hopeful and faithful. Still trying to talk about it and explore it. If he leaves, his kids lives will be a living hell and so will his, so he stays. And frankly he still loves his wife. But just recently I’ve heard him say he wished he could just have sex with someone, but stay married. And then the next sentence he says he could never cheat. At what point do you think it would be OK to have an affair in this situation?

I think most people who cheat are scoundrels and selfish, but it can get complicated when kids are involved, etc.

I think the John Irving book “The 158 Pound Marriage” opened my eyes a bit. I’ll have to reread to see if that’s true. I think that’s the title.

Interesting post and topic Tina!

]]> By: life laugh latte http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/2009/10/26/common-excuses-for-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-2831 life laugh latte Tue, 27 Oct 2009 23:30:48 +0000 http://www.luvemorleavem.com/blog/?p=636#comment-2831 Thanks for visiting us today. Fun to visit your blog too. Great conversation to open up. Working hard on the relationship, getting rid of the selfishness, not ignoring his/her need for intimacy, maintaining the friendship and playfulness, all tend to keep a marriage maintained and happy. Happy usually equals = less chances of affair. Happy Tuesday! Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com Thanks for visiting us today. Fun to visit your blog too. Great conversation to open up. Working hard on the relationship, getting rid of the selfishness, not ignoring his/her need for intimacy, maintaining the friendship and playfulness, all tend to keep a marriage maintained and happy. Happy usually equals = less chances of affair. Happy Tuesday! Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

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