Last week one of the biggest trending topics on Twitter was “Rules of Relationships.” The words of relationship wisdom ranged from the philosophical to the practical. There were serious posts as well as humorous ones, and of course there were more than a few with quite a bit of bitterness thrown in. I did my best to categorize some of the most popular “rules” so that I could share them here. I hope that you enjoy them as much as I did.
Short and Simple- Many of the relationship rules were the tried and true short and sweet kind of wisdom like the kind your grandma might have shared with you. These rules tend to apply to all relationships, not just romantic ones. Despite the simplicity of these rules, people do break them all the time. I guess sometimes it’s hard to appreciate that rules this simple can still have value.
- Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
- Recognize what you have before it’s gone.
- If you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything.
- Keep your promises.
- Be fair and compromise.
- When you’re wrong, apologize.
- Don’t expect more out of a relationship than what you put into it.
The Blunt Truth- Not quite grandma wisdom, but these rules still come out and say it like it is.
- Be faithful, if you can’t then just don’t be in a relationship.
- Never flirt with other girls when you’re out with your girlfriend.
- Don’t discuss your partner on social networking sites.
- My friends were here before you, and they’ll be here after you leave.
- If a guy tells you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, believe him.
Philosophical- Now remember, these were posted on Twitter, so I use the term “philosophical” very loosely. Some rules were created by the person posting, some are from relationship books, and a few may have come from fortune cookies.
- When you say you’ll forgive a person, really forgive them, no more bringing up the past.
- Don’t leave the one you love for the one you like. The one you like will leave you for the one they love.
- Tell the truth from the beginning, so they fall in love with you, not who you’re pretending to be.
- Don’t trip over lust and fall in love .
- Never hold back, because whatever is left out is still a lie.
- Your ex didn’t “change after you broke up”, they just got better at hiding what you didn’t like.
- Do not confuse true love with the fear of being alone.
- Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.
The Romantic- These were in the minority, but as a romantic I was happy that there were any at all.
- When love replaces ambition an authentic relationship is born.
- When someone is willing to stand by you, don’t let them go.
- If you’re lucky enough to have the person you want, work that much harder to keep them.
The Bitter- Some of the people posting these seemed to have been recently burned in relationships, and some just seemed to have a very low opinion of the opposite sex.
- Always keep your options open, stay single.
- Always make her think you’re listening, even if you’re not.
- Act like a man so you can’t get hurt by one.
- Whoever says “I love you” first loses.
- Men are good liars, don’t believe him until you’re sure.
- Continually change your Twitter/Facebook passwords, because she watches your fingers.
The odd, quirky and funny-
- When he leaves the toilet seat up, hide the remote. He won’t learn, but it will be fun to watch him search.
- You can trust someone with a big smile and a big butt.
- I wont mind the Lifetime movies if you don’t mind Spike TV.
Finally, there is my own little rule of relationships which I’m not going to categorize, but here goes:
- You can improve communication more by learning what not to say, than what to say.
So, Do you have a favorite relationship rule? It can be from this list, or perhaps you have your own special relationship rule that you’d be willing to share in our comments section.
Very interesting post. I love all the quotes. But what I like most is:
Don’t leave the one you love for the one you like. The one you like may leave you for the one they love.
But it’s hard to fulfill all the criterias tho’
Thanks for sharing
I think not talking about your relationship on social networks is a big one. I haven’t stopped hearing about relationships going sour after something the significant other read on their facebook or MySpace page.
I like the metaphor, “take care of the weeds in your garden before they overtake your flowers”. Relationships should not be taken for granted and needs to continuously be worked on and not neglected. Sometimes its hard with children around, but the effort must always be there.
Twitter: symphonyoflove
says:
For me, it is not so much of a rule but more of a saying which I remember, “Love is like playing the piano, first you got to learn the basic and then you have to play from your heart.”
BK´s last blog ..What is That? by Constantin Pilavios
You are so right with your last comment I could have spared myself so many sad days if I’d only kept my mouth shut…now I ask myself if what I want to say will help or hurt and sometimes I even use good judgment and don’t say anything… Knowing better and doing can sometimes be a challenge.
This was a great post..
Hugs to you….
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
My favorite is the one that says, “If he tells you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, believe him.” This seems to be a problem that plagues many women. I call it the, “But I’m different” syndrome. Women get involved with a womanizer and then are shocked when he cheats on them. Women get involved with a man who doesn’t want to be in a relationship, etc. When they are recapping with their friends, they always say, “but I thought I was different.” Unfortunately, you are rarely different in that type of situation.
Love this!
These are my favorites:
“Tell the truth from the beginning, so they fall in love with you, not who you’re pretending to be.”
(This seems to be something that people don’t understand. And it comes back to bite them in the ass!)
“Recognize what you have before it’s gone.”
(So easy NOT to do.)
“When love replaces ambition an authentic relationship is born”
(I’ve never heard this but it is wonderful. It especially speaks to me being a musician and having to give up some touring possibilities, etc. for my family. I’m not bitter at all and don’t regret it. You have to pick what’s most important to you. But it’s not always easy.
“You can trust someone with a big smile and a big butt.” (This is just funny)
“Relationships are a lot of work, but they’re supposed to be fun. Without fun the work isn’t worth it.” (This is my own favorite. Something my wife taught me.)
Yes, I admitted it!!
I read once that when you love someone, you love them more than yourself. I think the truth is that it’s best if you love yourself and then give love to another. Truth is important, but brutal honesty can be a detriment. And a friend told me years ago, that you should make your loved one feel as though they are always the most important person in the room. I like that one!
I enjoyed reading all the rules. I personally follow my rule of always letting Bill know how special I think he is and that his opinions are of value to me.
Jude´s last blog ..Playing Hooky/Retirement
One of my own personal relationship rules is to be the type of partner that you want to have.
If you desire a partner that is kind, compassionate, thoughtful, honest, etc., it’s best to develop those qualities in yourself first.
I have lots of girlfriends not to share everything with my boyfriend, they say certain things should not be brought up, things like candy and stuff that I may get at the office from a client, but I have learned that if you are your most honest, he will understand because of your honesty, and my girlfriends are a little scandalous.
Jelly´s last blog ..Julia Stegner for Spanish Vogue November 2009
This is such a great blog! thanks and Well Done!
Victoria Hart´s last blog ..SO…YOU THINK THAT’S FUNNY?
If you do it right, love hurts reeel bad.
vange´s last blog ..Do You Know the States?
Great post….I think that it is pretty important for both partners to be honest and on the same page as much as possible.
Yes…differences do attract and keep the sizzle bubbling….but those same differences can become the battle of a lifetime if the partners are not careful.
I too try and switch roles before reacting and I also try to choose my battles before the war begins!
DorothyL´s last blog ..Love..Lust..Sex!
I really like the one about learning what not to say. So true.
I’d just like to add – you should treat your spouse/family better than your friends. I’m always surprised at friends who diss or demean their spouses in a way they never would with their friends.
K´s last blog ..Random Living at It’s Best
Thanks for sharing this
Twitter: brandyellen
says:
I have a rule to step back from a situation and put yourself in the other person’s shoes BEFORE reacting to a situation you may not understand or even think you can move forward from.
Meaning, sometimes men do things we don’t understand and possibly would NEVER do, however, if you can step back and think from his perspective and truly understand the WHY in what he did, then you can move forward in a positive way.
Brandy´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: My Boys And Me
Twitter: lionslinger
says:
I would not qualify it as my favorite because it connotes immaturity on my part, rather I call it responsible choice: philosophical rule.
Relationship according to this rule enforces growth in each of us and responsibility for our actions. It also acknowledges sacrifice and letting go. This may be difficult but the benefits are lasting.