Recently I saw an interview with a couple that was celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary. After hearing how they met and what life was like back then, the reporter asked the secret to staying married that long. Without hesitation, the man answered that the secret was knowing when to say “Yes Dear.”

Now it is a shame that the wife didn’t answer. I wasn’t sure if she didn’t speak much English or if she was just from the “speak when spoken to” generation. She just sat nodding in agreement to everything that her husband said, which may really have been what was behind their long marriage. I think that as women we know that there are many phrases that are even more welcome to a man than just “yes dear.” So here are a few that will give you even more mileage:

• Yes, you can wear jeans- This is the first question that I am asked whenever we go anywhere unless it is obviously formal like a wedding or funeral. When I answer with this simple phrase he’s filled with excitement.
• I booked a sitter for tonight- If you don’t have children you can’t appreciate how magical these words are to everyone with young children. This is one I would love to say more often, but I’m not always good at calling enough ahead of time to get a sitter.
• You sleep, I’ll get up- If you have babies, then this is music to a mother’s ears. This is always a phrase that men like to hear even once your kids are long past waking up in the middle of the night.
• Here’s your coffee- This is just the weekday version of the last one. There is something about not opening your eyes until there is a cup of coffee in your hand, that is simply blissful. I’m kind of difficult to live with, so I get a lot of mileage out of this one by being the early riser who fetches the coffee. It has paid dividends! How can you be anything but grateful to the person who has brought you a caffeinated beverage when it is still dark out?
• Yes, I’m frisky this morning- This is diamond among all gems for most men. For whatever reason, this is what men want most in the morning and what women want least. If you can manage this one you can ignore the rest of the list.

So is “yes dear” really the secret to a happy marriage? Not if you’ve got this list going for you. Of course “yes dear” does have it’s place as we make our way through marriage and pick and choose our battles. It lets your partner know that this is one battle that you have chosen not to fight.