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Dating After Divorce – The First Date

The first date after divorce. The stars will be shining, you won’t be bloated, your hair will be shiny and you won’t have to hold your stomach in.  This is the magic of the first date now that you are single again.

In my dreams!  To be honest, I was kind of nervous and kind of excited. I was 6 months into being single, living on my own, cooking meals for one when my kids were with their dad, and had been sexless for what seemed more like 6 years. I felt it was time to date. Actually, I just wanted the attention of a man who was in possession of all of his teeth and didn’t live in a cardboard box.

So who was the victim of my first date after divorce? On my radio show, I called him my fabulous French Lover. In reality he was a geeky 39 year old divorcee with a hot accent and blue eyes. It was a great date, even though he was 30 minutes late and I could only understand a third of what he was saying to me! We ended up dating for 3 months until he eventually dumped me. I’m assuming it was because I intimidated him or just became way too needy (I’m sure we all know the real answer!)

So ladies, now that you’ve heard about my first date after divorce, let’s go over what to do and what not to do when dating after divorce. Trust me when I tell you I am guilty of almost all the don’ts…aren’t you glad I made a fool out of myself so you don’t have to?! Okay, here goes:

Dating After Divorce – What To Do:

Look Your Best! Wear some hot jeans or a skirt. Wear heels. Wear lip gloss. Don’t wear the mom jeans you take your kid to soccer practice in or wear a shirt that hides the boobies. Men love the boobies (I think it takes them back to a more carefree and pleasant time in their life…when they were breastfed!)

Ask Him Questions! Men love to talk about themselves. Heck, everyone loves to talk about themselves. Ask about his hobbies, his favorite sports teams, his bowling league, his job, whatever.  Just keep the question coming and be sure to let him answer.

Flirt with Him! Touch his hand, gently caress his bicep…men totally DIG this! Like I said in this great advice, no man is going to object to you touching him. Just keep it soft and ABOVE the belt.

Dating After Divorce- What Not To Do

Talk about or even mention your ex! You don’t even want to hear about your ex, why would he? If he asks just say you’d rather not talk about it, it just didn’t work out or “another time okay?” I gotta tell ya ladies, every time I have broken my own advice on this I come off as a bitter, angry bitch. Yuck.

Tell him about anything too personal. Keep the conversation light. Leave some mystery. Be coy.  Don’t cover your life story in one evening. Leave him wanting more.

Sleep with him! If you sleep with the guy on your first date after divorce you will so fall head over heels in love/lust with him that you will date for 3 months and end up telling people he broke up with you because he was either intimidated by you or you were too needy. Girlfriend, trust me!

Author Bio:

Kim Hess AKA the Divorce Guru is a divorce writer and radio show host.  Her latest book, Getting Back on the Horse after Breakup or Divorce, is a funny and in depth look at the world of dating as a divorcee.

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